Monday, February 27, 2012

Funny Story and Squirmy Subject

Most authors, including me, are pretty private people. We enjoy spending hours on end with imaginary people, writing stories and becoming as close to those characters as to our friends. A few of us, like me, also enjoy the time interacting with my real paranormal characters, as well as writing about them. I've been dragged kicking and screaming into blogging, Facebook and Twitter. And gosh darn it, now I enjoy them! But I still have trouble tooting my own horn, although I enjoy the wonderful warm fuzzies I get from readers.

First, the ghost story, though, then on to writing business. I've mentioned Juan before. He loves to watch TV with us, especially on the weekends Aunt Belle visits. Other times, too, but this happened during her latest visit, on Feb. 18, 2012. The night before, Juan watched Swamp People with us, and the only problem he caused was giving me some cold chills. He stopped immediately when I asked him to. The next night, Aunt Belle, my sister Annie, hub Barney and I were watching a movie on DVD. During a pause/potty break, I hurried into my office to check the computer. I had a book on sale that weekend and wanted to see how the sales numbers were going. Rising, I hoped. (They were! :-)

Everyone gathered back in front of the TV and hollered at me to come on. As I rushed out of my office and over to the couch, I noticed Juan standing behind Barney's head, where my hub was halfway reclining on a pillow. I have no idea how Juan "stood" there, because a large end table takes up that space. But stood he did. He nodded and smiled at me, but in my hurry, I ignored him...much to everyone's dismay a few moments later.

We re-started the movie. Then, I sniffed. Uh oh. Maybe no one else will notice.

Hub sniffed. "What the hell is that?" I started giggling.

Have I mentioned that Juan is a flatulent ghost?

Annie sniffed. "Good grief! What's that smell?" Giggles turned to laughter and Aunt Belle looked over at me.

"Juan?" she asked. I nodded amidst my laughter and she said, "I don't smell--oh good lord! Now I do. Pe-yewww!"

"He's standing over there behind Barney's head," I explained in between gales of laughter. Laughter that Belle joined in on, but Annie and hub didn't. "I saw him when I came out of my office a minute ago, but I didn't say hello or anything. Now he's mad and pouting."

Hub sat straight up on the couch and began glancing to the side of him. Hub can see ghosts, but he's glad it's only infrequently. This time, he evidently didn't see Juan, since he didn't vacate us and the movie.

"Well, for pity sakes, tell him 'Hi' and apologise, then discipline him!" Belle ordered. "He's gagging us!"

"Hello, Juan," I obeyed. "Sorry I didn't acknowledge you. Now get rid of that smell or I'll banish your hind end, and the rest of you, so we can watch the movie! Immediately!"

The smell vanished. That didn't surprise Belle and me, but Annie and Barney had somewhat amazed looks on their faces. Their mouths were open as though in shock, anyway. We, and Juan, continued to watch the movie in peace.

Now the squirm in my chair, toot my own horn, stuff. I mentioned that I was watching my book numbers during movie breaks. Frankly, not all authors make zillions of dollars. But we still write for both the love of the story and the need for the dollars to be able to afford to keep writing. One thing that helps an author's sales is good, 5-star reviews. I've already admitted I'm internet inept to a point, so I don't know how those web crawler thingies work. But I've been told the ones that crawl for books pick up books with lots of great reviews and give them more exposure. So, if you've enjoyed any of my books and can put a review up for me on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, wherever you bought the book, it would be very deeply appreciated. Especially when I go to pay my monthly bills and determine how much writing time I will have coming to me that month!

Thanks and BOO!
T. M.

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